The eternal undead amaranth

I will be handicapped without my comp for the next few days.......... will be offline for quite a while......

Dont worry =) .

I Will try to update as much as i can on everything....just no more MSN chats and anime watching for the time being.

aww.... dont be so sad...

I invite thee to call!

undead withering eternal

Some some nice nice songs... some words resound strongly in my head...
(Pay attention to italics, bold , bold+italics ... different stories to tell)

HAPPY HAPPY BIRTHDAY SONG:
Once a year we celebrate
With stupid hats and plastic plates
The fact that you were able to make
Another trip around the sun
And the whole clan gathers round
And gifts and laughter do abound
And we let out a joyful sound
And sing that stupid song
Happy birthday!
Now you're one year older!
Happy birthday!
Your life still isn't over!
Happy birthday!
You did not accomplish much
But you didn't die this year
I guess that's good enough
So let's drink to your fading health
And hope you don't remind yourself
The chance of finding fame and wealth
Decrease with every year
Does it feel like you're doing laps
And eating food and taking naps
And hoping that someday perhaps
Your life will hold some cheer
Happy birthday!
What have you done that matters?
Happy birthday!
You're starting to get fatter ( =P )
Happy birthday!
It's downhill from now on
Try not to remind yourself
Your best years are all gone
If cryogenics were all free
Then you could live like Walt Disney
And live for all eternity
Inside a block of ice
But instead your time is set
This is the only life you get
And though it hasn't ended yet
Sometimes you wish it might (WHEE)
Happy birthday!
You wish you had more money
Happy birthday!
Your life's so sad it's funny
Happy birthday!
How much more can you take?
But your friends are hungry
So just cut the stupid cake (YEAH.STUPID CAKE)
Happy birthday!
Happy birthday!
Happy birthday, dear...
(random calling out of names, including "Skippy, the bush kangaroo")
(HAHAHAHA THEY FORGOT HIS/HER NAME)

Making love out of nothing at all, Air Supply:
I know just how to whisper
And I know just how to cry
I know just where to find the answers
And I know just how to lie
I know just how to fake it
And I know just how to scheme
I know just when to face the truth
And then I know just when to dream

And I know just where to touch you
And I know just what to prove
I know when to pull you closer
And I know when to let you loose
And I know the night is fading
And I know the time's gonna fly
And I'm never gonna tell you
Everything I gotta tell you
But I know I gotta give it a try

And I know the roads to riches
And I know the ways to fame
I know all the rules
And I know how to break 'em
And I always know the name of the game

But I don't know how to leave you
And I'll never let you fall
And I don't know how you do it
Making love out of nothing at all

Making love, Out of nothing at all
...
...
...
...
...

Everytime I see you all the rays of the sun
Are streaming through the waves in your hair
And every star in the sky is taking aim at your eyes
Like a spotlight

The beating of my heart is a drum and it's lost
And it's looking for a rhythm like you
You can take the darkness from the pit of the night
And turn into a beacon burning endlessly bright

I've gotta follow it 'cause everything I know
Well it's nothing till I give it to you

I can make the runner stumble
I can make the final block
And I can make every tackle at the sound of the whistle
I can make all the stadiums rock
I can make tonight forever
Or I can make it disappear by the dawn
I can make you every promise that has ever been made
I can make all your demons be gone

But I'm never gonna make it without you
Do you really want to see me crawl
And I'm never gonna make it like you do
Making love out of nothing at all

Making love, Out of nothing at all
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
Making love, Out of nothing at all

The Poet and the Pendulum:

"WHITE LANDS OF EMPATHICA"

The end.

The songwriter's dead.
The blade fell upon him
Taking him to the white lands
Of Empathica
Of Innocence
Empathica
Innocence

"HOME"

The dreamer and the wine
Poet without a rhyme
A widowed writer torn apart by chains of hell

One last perfect verse
Is still the same old song
Oh Christ how I hate what I have become

Take me home

Getaway, runaway, fly away
Lead me astray to dreamer's hideaway
I cannot cry 'cause the shoulder cries more
I cannot die, I, a whore for the cold world
Forgive me
I have but two faces
One for the world
One for God
Save me
I cannot cry 'cause the shoulder cries more
I cannot die, I, a whore for the cold world

My home was there 'n then
Those meadows of heaven
Adventure-filled days
One with every smiling face

Please, no more words
Thoughts from a severed head
No more praise
Tell me once my heart goes right

Take me home

Getaway, runaway, fly away
Lead me astray to dreamer's hideaway
I cannot cry 'cause the shoulder cries more
I cannot die, I, a whore for the cold world
Forgive me
I have but two faces
One for the world
One for God
Save me
I cannot cry 'cause the shoulder cries more
I cannot die, I, a whore for the cold world

"THE PACIFIC"

Sparkle my scenery
With turquoise waterfall
With beauty underneath
The Ever Free

Tuck me in beneath the blue
Beneath the pain, beneath the rain
Goodnight kiss for a child in time
Swaying blade my lullaby

On the shore we sat and hoped
Under the same pale moon
Whose guiding light chose you
Chose you all

"I'm afraid. I'm so afraid.
Being raped again, and again, and again
I know I will die alone.
But loved.

You live long enough to hear the sound of guns,
long enough to find yourself screaming every night,
long enough to see your friends betray you.

For years I've been strapped unto this altar.
Now I only have 3 minutes and counting.
I just wish the tide would catch me first and give me a death I always longed for ".

"DARK PASSION PLAY"

2nd robber to the right of Christ
Cut in half - infanticide
The world will rejoice today
As the crows feast on the rotting poet

Everyone must bury their own
No pack to bury the heart of stone
Now he's home in hell, serves him well
Slain by the bell, tolling for his farewell

The morning dawned, upon his altar
Remains of the dark passion play
Performed by his friends without shame
Spitting on his grave as they came

Getaway, runaway, fly away
Lead me astray to dreamer's hideaway
I cannot cry 'cause the shoulder cries more
I cannot die, I, a whore for the cold world
Forgive me
I have but two faces
One for the world
One for God
Save me
I cannot cry 'cause the shoulder cries more
I cannot die, I, a whore for the cold world

"Today, in the year of our Lord 2005,
Tuomas was called from the cares of the world.
He stopped crying at the end of each beautiful day.
The music he wrote had too long been without silence.

He was found naked and dead,
With a smile in his face, a pen and 1000 pages of erased text."

Save me

"MOTHER & FATHER"

Be still, my son
You're home
Oh when did you become so cold?
The blade will keep on descending
All you need is to feel my love

Search for beauty, find your shore
Try to save them all, bleed no more
You have such oceans within
In the end
I will always love you

The beginning.

undead withering eternal

Just felt that.....somethings should stay on my blogpage......unwashed by time.

Entitled: Forget

Oh how i wish.

Aflame may my emotions once be.
I saw the chaos creature once more.
Yet the link between me and the creature,
has been broken,
one that adores.

Set free I am,
till i saw it again.
But this time the touch of it,
Brought me no pain.

The tingling of friendship,
seared throughtout the atmosphere.
Almost as if,brought to the
energy,
Destined to be here.

Yet i ran away,
the fear of being bonded once more.
For if goodwill brings us too close,
Scald me not, I implore.

Entitled: The Jester and the Candlelight
The First Dream:

Once there was a jester, fine and proud
Lived a life comfortable, with hardly a frown
Dancing all day, singing like a laddie
Sometimes with flashes of brilliance
which he treasured dearly

Yet although he danced, he could feel little warmth
Flashes of rage too, would disrupt a song
For though he was a jester, blessed lucky and proud
'Cause of the things he lacked, he would often feel down

Why was this so? Ask the Jester!
Wordless he would, point to the candleholder
This poor jester had never felt warmth since birth
For a curse was on him:"By the flame, be never loved"

Now what did that mean?
Let me come clean.
Jester could touch the flame,
and not even feel pain

He could never feel the fire's warmth on his skin,
and during Christmas, he could feel winter's bite from within
Hugging the pole that held the fire,
he would survive on the warmth, conducted from the fire.

The Last Dream:

One day he could stand it no longer
he summonned out some magic, the curse he tried to sunder
He spoke to the spirits of the candle,
"Could i bask in your warmth?"
The spirits said nothing, but lifted the barrier

The closer he got, the higher were his hopes,
but before he even neared it, into pain he soaked
The short burst of pain was followed by silence,
The barrier had closed again, against Jester's cadence

He knew why it closed,
But why?
The Jester seeks again,
letting out a rare sigh

Entitled: A long story to tell

This will be a very long post. Make sure you have the time, or patience, to read this. I am VERY hesitant to post this. Those who really want to know, can ask. But there are some, i cannot give answers to, for different reasons, especially the first gaze.

The First Gaze:
A boy stared at the sun as he grew old. Its warmth, ever so distant, its piercing light, but he could not move his gaze away.
So enticing, yet so torturing. How he yearned for a moon, so that h would never need a sun.
Finally, he catches sight of the moon. Huge, overpowering his senses, it looms bigger, and bigger, and bigger and bigger, and crushes him beneath. Gosh, why did he ever look at the moon. So alluring, so cooling, almost for a want of embrace, yet equally distant.
A boy who wanted to be distracted from the Sun, had found the Moon.
Now the boy hungers so much for either, he just wishes, he could live in darkness once more.
The night wasnt that bad. If not for the demons that lived within, he would have stayed in it forever and ever and ever. Now he wishes he had and cant go back.

At least the boy has begun to lose sight of the sun due to the moon.

The Reminiscence:
(ali and Ryan have seen this. i seem to have unconciously thrown away that paper)
I used to love the common person, but now it seems distant. Locking my self up was a big mistake, living as a child, as my rage grew, my negative emotions grew so strong they began to overpower the child.

All the self-centered feelings i tried to reject...have grown into nothing short of a monster, a Nightmare, that coerces the Child, and woken the Dreamer. The ironic self-proclaimed bringer of happiness to us all.

Is there no place for pure concern or love in this world?
I struggle but cannot fight against my own inclinations, my own human weakness. My emotions wrestle me in an iron clad grip, forcing me into acting like the very model of what i hate deeply.
If i cannot win this struggle, i cannot ever expect others to do so .... anymore.

Drifting thoughts:
Drifting thoughts of my different voices.The lyrics are not exact. The song is as the audience hears it.

I'm sorry i cant pen it anymore. here are all the quotes to what i feel inside....roughly anyway.

"Unbreak my Heart! So i can love again...."
-Unknown

"Oh how i wish, for soothing rain... oh how i wish to dream again.My loving heart, lost in the dark, for hope i'd give my everything"
-Nemo

"For the heart I'll never have
For the child forever gone
The music flows, because it longs
For the heart I once had"
-For the Heart i once Had

"Search for beauty, find your shore
Try to save them all, bleed no more
You have such oceans within
In the end
I will always love you"
-The Poet and the Pendulum

"Bring me home, or leave me be. My love in the dark heart of the night .. "
- G.L.S.

"Take me kill me cure me bring me home, everyway , everyday, just another loop in the hangman's noose ... ... I keep on watching us sleep."
- G.L.S.

"Redeem me, into childhood.
Show me myself without the shell.
Like the advent, of May, I'll be there,
when you say:
Time to never hold our love"
- G.L.S.

"Its not monsters under your bed, its the Man next door... That makes you fear, makes you cry...makes you cry for the Child"
- Dead to the World

"Save yourself a penny for the ferryman! Save yourself and let them suffer. In hope, in love, this world aint ready for the Ark."
- Planet Hell

"What greater gift, could i get to feel alive? Than the power of love in your eyes?"
-The Power of Love

"I wish for this night time to last for a lifetime...the darkness surround me...the shores of a solar sea...Oh how I wish to go down with the sun
Sleeping
Weeping
With you"
-Sleeping Sun

"For my dreams I hold my life
For wishes I behold my night
The truth at the end of time
Losing faith makes a crime"
-Sleeping Sun

"Ever felt away with me? Just once, thats all i need. Entwined in finding you one day.
Ever felt away with me? My love it felt so deep...
Ever dream of me?"
- Everdream

and last but not least:
for the friend who sent this to me:
"For the Light, for the Love, for the Truth in your eyes. I am grateful to have such a friend by my side. For the tears, for the love, for not asking me why~"
-Song For You

undead withering eternal

i got my answer.

No complications in my life, just when i stopped gazing at the Sun, Moon stars and all.

Can finally look at the ground. A world without piercing rays, yet without demons.

I feel soo .... liberated, more than anything.

Ah Felix, you guessed wrong this time. Though adamant about it you are.
Perry would be stunned though.

See, such advisors i have. =D

undead withering eternal

im gonna make things very clear now.
Kiss while you lips are still red.
I no longer wish i had angels.

So the decision i will make is going to be cast in stone.
A vice-like grip, never to be relaxed.
Say if you have something to say, do what you have to do.
I promise you this:
i will respond the way you want me to.
I will not relax it. I have my A levels to worry about.
YES or NO.

I will start my sprint for the A's. Either join or forever be left behind.

undead withering eternal

-POST deleted-

I no longer have a need for it.
I feel so... liberated,
not having to look at the moon, stars, sun anymore.

undead withering eternal

Lets just have time to cool off...

After all, it didnt matter that much to me.

What really mattered was that, i couldnt put myself in your shoes and understand.

that was the only thing that mattered really.

The fact that I could only be halfway there, and lost faith, was what really mattered to me.

I know my flaws . . . but it just reminded me how much i failed to overcome them, and just couldnt accept it yet.
So much effort wasted.

I'm now, too disappointed with myself.

undead withering eternal